I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think in the comments section below.
I was cleaning out my basement last night when I happened upon an old notebook, I reread this entry that was written on 12/2/16 and I was blown away from the wisdom of my past self. I hope you can find some value in what I’ve written.
- Persistence pays, small daily actions add up over time
- Show up, consistent action over time is what works in the long run
- Relationships & Connections are key, without them, life loses meaning
- Keep my eyes on the big picture, don’t forget what I really want
- Kindness matters
- Hope is a hard-won freedom
- I have more and less time than I think
- The labels I apply to myself and others are sticky, watch out for them
- The long game is the only game that matters
- Define my values or they will be chosen for me
- The default action is always easier, but not necessarily right
- Make choices
- Be true to
- Letting my light shine inspires others to do the same
- When I’m feeling afraid, that’s when I am making progress
- Nothing good comes from my comfort zone
- Worrying is wasted energy, invest in creation instead
- I get to tell my story
- Stopping being a victim is a choice I can make
- “Why” is the most important factor
- Lean into uncertainty, that’s where the good shit happens
- Create value for others
- While I am the hero of my own story, don’t forget that everyone else is as well
- The things I judge others for are what I am afraid of in myself
- Belief and mindset are important
- Don’t drink the cool-aide find out what is real for
- Real change is scary and hard and worth it
- Don’t quit, keep moving forward
- Don’t take things personally, other people don’t think about me as often as I do
- Face my emotions, don’t stuff them down or run away
- Doing the work feels good
- Responsibility and work aren’t dirty words
- I can grow up and still be authentic
- Fun and play doesn’t have to end with childhood
- Relationships take time and attention
- My limitations are mostly self-imposed
- Doing the tempting thing
inthe moment will feel good then, but it won’t in the long run
- Money isn’t everything, but it is an important factor, so don’t ignore it, it won’t go away
- Live in the paradox
- I’m not alone
- Keep learning and growing
- Be grateful
- I am stronger than I know
- Either/or is usually a false choice
- Be careful of what information I let in, I am more influenced by outside stimuli than I think I am
- The world is interdependent, I can’t survive alone
- Pick my companions carefully
- Do what I enjoy doing
- Open my heart to the right people
- Never stop exploring
- Life is an adventure if I decide it is
- Less is more
- Anxiety is an
I don’t remember exactly what prompted me to write these words, but I’m glad I did. I hope you can find some use out of the lessons I’ve learned over the years. Please let me know in the comments section which one resonated the most with you.
If you like this piece, you might also enjoy reading my post about Art & Fear or Why You Should Never Give up on Yourself. If you want to support me, please check out my Fine Art America account or the jewelry in my shop. Once again, thanks for reading!
2018 100-Day Project
Last year I did #the100dayproject and completed it! You can find out more about the general concept of the project at www.the100dayproject.org. In 2018 I made 100 pairs of earrings. I wrote a little bit about it here: http://carleyknight.com/art/a-new-direction/
you can find more of my earrings on my Instagram Account.
2019’s 100-Day Project
I hand make the necklaces using beads I repurpose from older pieces of jewelry, some of which are vintage. I usually get my pieces of jewelry from thrift stores or rummage sales during the summer. I then wire-wrap the beads and use chain and a lobster clasp to complete the necklace. I am really liking the results so far. I’ve been playing with shapes and color combinations.
The reason why I’m doing #The100DayProject is mostly intrinsic motivation. I’ve felt like I’ve been stuck in a rut all winter and I have not been productive creatively. To be honest, looking back I was a little depressed. I wanted to express myself artistically and do something every day.
When I heard that the 100-day project was starting up again, to be honest, I wasn’t sure I wanted to participate. I only decided on April 2nd that I would participate and would be making necklaces. Doing the 100-day project has awakened me creatively, I’ve started to paint and sketch again! More importantly, I’ve been feeling better too.
Today is day 21 of my 100-day project and I’m really liking the results. Even though the reason I’m doing it is personal, I managed to sell 1 necklace so far! I mean, I would still be making my necklaces no matter what other people think, but it is nice to be validated in that way.
Speaking of selling, I just created a shop on my site: carleyknight.com/shop you can find my jewelry listed there for sale. I’m still listing items, but you can check out my necklaces and bracelets.
I’m looking to do more fairs and festivals over the summer, and am still looking for venues to sell, if anyone has any leads, please let me know. You can email at email@example.com
I would appreciate it if you were to stop by my shop there and support me! Thanks for your time.
I recently started a new painting and I wanted to show you a little behind the scenes sneak peek. I started off painting the background with a pallet knife with the color yellow (I don’t have a photo of the initial stages)
I sketched the outline of the design I wanted to paint and painted in the red in a first layer.
Then painted in the purple going out as a gradient. To the inner circle I added a lighter shade to make it pop more.
The painting is almost finished, all I need to do is to add more dimension to the red ribbon. What do you think of this painting? Am I headed in the right direction?
Hello world, I’m back! I took a break from blogging that you can read about here: Pivoting on my Path. I didn’t abandon my art after all.
While I was gone I successfully completed a 100-day project where I made a pair of earrings a day for 100 days. You can find those earrings on my second Instagram account @CKnight_jewlery Or you can buy them in my Etsy Store.
Here are some highlights
I’ve been exploring a new direction with my painting lately. I’ve been playing around with a palette knife and I’m really enjoying the results. I’d love to hear what you think, please leave a comment below.
I might add my usual abstract design on top of a palette knife exploration. I’m enjoying playing around with color and texture.
Just because I like to make art and I’m good at it doesn’t mean that I need to be a professional artist. I’ve gone far enough down that path to realize it doesn’t lead to where I want to go, at least not anymore. I’ve put a lot of deep thought and reflection into this and I realized that I need to work more closely with other people and help them in a more direct way.
I’m following a newer, more on certain path. I want to follow this new path and see where it may lead me. All this aside, I know that there is no one “right” path, The continuing down the path of a professional artist is a valid path for me.
All that said, I’ve come to a point where I want to make a decision and pursue a new path, I’m not sure where it will lead, but this new path is calling me. I might as well tell you what I want to do, I’m still unsure what to label myself, but here goes: I want to help other creative entrepreneurs who want to take the next steps in their business but are feeling overwhelmed by all the possibilities and options on the table and are feeling stuck, unable to move forward. I want to help them simplify and gain clarity through productivity tools and project planning.
Here’s some background, I have suffered from this exact problem for a long time and I’ve spent countless hours listening to podcasts and reading books about productivity in order to improve myself and grow. Through observing all that information, I have come up with systems and practices to help myself that I believe could benefit others as well. Along with that, I began working for Lisa England in July 2016 and have found that I have been able to help her clarify a project that she’s been wanting to start for a long time, create a realistic timeline, and break the project down into actionable next steps. I’m really enjoying doing this with her and if she needs my help doing this, my hypothesis is that other people will want the service as well.
Pursuing this new thing is exciting, it doesn’t mean it’ll stop making art altogether, I’ll just move my art to hobby status. I’m excited to move forward with this new venture. I’m unsure what to label myself, a coach, a consultant, or something else, but I’m not letting that stop me anymore.
I’m in this for the long game and in order to do so I need to set up a strong foundation. I’m looking for people to practice with so I can clarify exactly what I offer and who I want to work with. If you or anyone you know is struggling with feelings of overwhelm over everything you have to do, please feel free to contact me at Carley@carleyknight.com so we can get together and see if I can help you.
Yesterday, while biking, I had an idea. I decided to reframe my mindset around the word hard. Instead of saying that something is ‘hard’ I will instead say that it is ‘challenging’. Often when I say to myself that something is hard I will not do it, but if something is a challenge, then it is something that I can overcome.
I have a few challenges that I am facing now, my main one being feelings of overwhelm, feelings of fear, and feelings of uncertainty. In the end, I guess that my challenge is to move forward in the face of my feelings. My feelings are holding me back because it is challenging for me to move forward with my life with so much unknown.
The main thing I need to do is keep doing what’s already working, i.e. eating healthy, meditating, journaling, biking, etc. I have to keep reminding myself that I am already on the right path.
Right now, I have a lot of opportunities and a lot of stuff going well for me and I don’t want to screw up. I know that I need to write it all down to deal with the feelings of overwhelm, that once my ideas are out of my head I can deal with them. I need to remind myself that I am the one taking on this challenge and that challenges can be overcome.
I have a confession to make
I’m not a real artist, I’m just pretending to be an artist. There, I said it. Yes, I am making art, I went to art school (and then dropped out for financial reasons), my art is starting to get noticed, I’ve been accepted to art shows and I could probably get into a gallery if I tried, but I feel as though I’m a fake. I feel like at any moment I’m going to get called out, “She’s not a real artist, she’s just pretending to be one” and the jig will be up. The whole reason that I’m an artist is that I’m calling myself an artist and no one has caught me yet. The more progress I make in the art world, the stronger this feeling gets. Sometimes this feeling is enough to make me want to quit and change course.
The thing is though, I’m beginning to realize that I’m not alone in this. I heard that there’s a name for what I’m feeling, “Imposter Syndrome”, which according to Wikipedia is:
Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon or fraud syndrome) is a term coined in 1978 by clinical psychologists Dr. Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes referring to high-achieving individuals marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. Despite external evidence of their competence, those exhibiting the syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be. Some studies suggest that impostor syndrome is particularly common among high-achieving women. 
So knowing that this is a thing and I’m not alone helps me to feel better, it doesn’t solve the problem though, the feelings don’t just magically go away. I hope that by sharing my story this issue can start to be discussed more and by it being discussed, fewer people will feel alone. Does anyone else feel this way, and if so, how have you managed to overcome it? I would love to know, please comment below to share your experiences, as I would love to hear them.
Me with my art
I’ve been thinking lately that maybe I’m not meant to be a visual artist, maybe this isn’t the path I want to go down anymore, maybe I want to be a writer.
When I think about it though, no matter what path I chose there will be struggle, uncertainty, hardship and pain. If I let that stop me now, I’ll just get to the same problem in a different place and it’ll be even harder to stick it out because I won’t have built up my grit muscles. I need to stick it out and keep going for my sake.
The type of life that I want to lead is a meaningful, challenging, fulfilling one where I’m able to keep growing as a person.
Maybe I don’t “have what it takes” to be an artist, but I’ll never know unless I actually try and make an honest go of it. If I really work at it and fail that will suck, but at least I’ll have done my best and I won’t wonder anymore. And if I try, I might succeed. That’s the scary part there. If I succeed I’d need to actually change, and change is scary. I need to rededicate myself to my work, like I said before, I need to lean into the fear and uncertainty.
But how? So far I don’t have a good answer, but I’m learning that by taking small steps and focusing on my daily actions instead of the bigger picture I’m feeling less anxious, calmer. As long as I do what I need to do, i.e. eat healthy, exercise, and meditate daily I’m better able think and be creative. When I don’t do those small things I start to fall apart and second guess myself. I need to figure out how I’m going to support myself in the future, sure, but now I need to focus on the present, not worry so much, and have faith that the bigger picture will take care of itself.
I read a book about uncertainty a while ago by Johnathan Fields, it was called “Uncertainty” and I probably should reread it. The book talked about uncertainty and how you can live in the face of it. I remember he talked about how daily rituals help sustain a creative practice. I also want to reread “Art and Fear” by David Bayles and Ted Orland. A friend recently recommended it to me after I posted my last blog post. I had read it when I was in art school, but I can’t remember much from it.
Anyway, I need to put less pressure on my art, focus on making progress everyday. I miss making art, I don’t know when it happened, but somewhere I let fear rob me of my art making. I haven’t worked on my art in a few weeks and I miss it. looking back, I think what happened was I showed at gallery night and I didn’t sell anything so I got discouraged, I need to remember that the goal of making art isn’t to sell it, the goal is to make it. I need to think small: progress, not perfection.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings. I wrote this post as a journal entry to myself and I thought that maybe someone else might get something out of it. If you enjoyed this post please feel free to leave a comment below and let me know what you think. Have you encountered similar issues? How have you managed to overcome them?
Thoughts on Doing the Work
Or My Reflections on Greatness
I wrote this post while walking around the Milwaukee Art Museum, surrounded by great works of art by great artists and some thoughts came to me.
Great artists get to where they are by doing the work. There is no shortcut to greatness. Things like having a point of view and something to say take a lot of work. For me part of that is the hard work of sitting down and facing my inner demons. Avoiding the work will not get me where I want to go. It is just arrogance to think that just because I want something I can do it. I need to put in the hours to attain my goals. I also need to recognize that I might never get “there”, never reach my goals and still continue on my journey to artistic greatness regardless.
Most artists take years to develop their voice and hone their talent and skills.
Avoiding doing the work will only makes the process longer. Avoiding the work, talking about the work, thinking about the work, that is not how I can achieve my goals, the only way I can do that is to actually do the work.
But the question that comes up then is, what is the work? How will I know if I am doing the work or avoiding doing the work? I think that the answer lies in my old friend, fear. The more afraid and resistant I am to doing something, the more likely it is to be the work that I need to do at the moment. I want to use fear as my guide, but in the opposite way. Instead of running away from the fear and discomfort, I need to start to embrace it, lean in and see where I can go.
It’s not easy to use fear as a guidepost, I constantly have to remind myself to do so, but in the end, (I hope) it is worth it. I want to push myself, discover what I am really capable of.